AGE RAGE!

Recent events have forced my exciting list of topics out of order. I had debated for a while on how I should approach this. Reality TV-bikinis-suffering-cursing? Suffering-cursing-bikinis-marriage? Anxiety-procrastination-doubt-resignation-execution? But, now is not the time to talk about the 5 Steps of Writer's Block. I NEED TO TALK ABOUT DISCRIMINATION.

Been. There. Done. That.

Now, hold on there, hipsters. I smell what you're steppin' in-- what could I possibly have to say about stereotyping, assumptions, and general not-niceness that hasn't been said before by greater and more talented minds? There will be no letters from my Tuscaloosa jail. But, I believe that the last year of my life has provided me with a very unique perspective on the mind-bending issue of age in America.

From my experience, I can tell you that nothing will warrant a faster and more predictable response than anyone under the age of 40 implying that they are somehow no longer young, whether in perception or reality. It seems to be the last form of blasphemy that everyone in America can agree on-- it is the pinnacle of arrogance for a person with no lines on their face to complain of weariness in their soul. Only the old can be weathered. Only parents can have wisdom. Only the misfortunate can feel burdened.

But, maybe you've never encountered the "sit down and drink your beer" attitude that I'm so familiar with. I don't want to get ahead of myself and I certainly don't want to stereotype people-who-are-older-than-other-people as holding no stock in the opinions of those-people-who-are-younger-than-them. That would be counter-productive. So, I'll start with a universal experience.

There you are, just livin' life, doing some recreational Facebook stalking, and you come across a picture of someone who cannot possibly be old enough to have a Facebook... but, they don't just have a terms-and-conditions-legal profile. Their picture is from their high school graduation. They're, like, 10! They can't go to college!

Roll Tide.

As soon as you recover from that missed-a-step-and-fell-on-your-face sensation, you realize how this relates to you. You may have lost track of how much other people have grown, but you've always been perfectly aware of your own continuous evolution. And, until now, you were okay with it. But, in comparison to this kid who aged a decade overnight (the only rational explanation), you're very rudely forced to comprehend just how much time has passed. And, just like all of us, you say, "I'm so old!"

This is totally natural and, while "I'm so old" may not be the most linguistically accurate reaction, we all have those moments that just make us feel just a bitty-bit elderly in comparison. The ensuing reality realignment doesn't ease the discomfort. Dads-- you have to adjust your parental approach when your son finally becomes taller than you. Siblings-- you must acquire faith in God's mercy and protection when you realize that your little sister will soon be driving. Aunts and uncles-- you must learn that asking, "What grade are you in?" is no longer appropriate after you have attended your niece's wedding.

But, as normal as this experience is, there's always one. Ugh. There's always one person nearby who is older than you-- two months, two years, two decades older, doesn't matter!-- and they say, "Oh, no you're not!" and trump you with the experiential smack-down card. They tell you about how, one time, they fell asleep in a forest for 1,000 years and, when they woke up, Rome had fallen, the colonies had united, and someone had invented the Internet. So, you're not allowed to be shocked by the fact that some kid went to their senior prom. My internal reaction:

Hopefully, this silly anecdote served its purpose in priming your brain for the exceptionally commonplace ways in which the weight of age is hardwired into our pride. In daily conversation, we use it as a petty power trip. Even if no one has ever done this to you, you've seen it done. Most recently, I watched an adult engage in the one-up war with a small child. The little boy just wanted to brag a little, get some approval for climbing to the top of the monkey bars the fastest, and he was met with, "Well, when I was a young, superior human..."

Here's the point. Age has become associated with  power and simplicity. It is now a tool for putting people down and making assumptions based on our perceptions of how much a person can do, learn, and accomplish in X number of years. Like skin color, nationality, and religion, it has become another tool for stereotyping. It's a quantitative device that is used to ignore the qualitative worth of every person's unique and individual experience. 

Choose your caption-- "That was so profound," or "She makes no sense at all."

I'll say it differently. Numbers are concrete and measurable. We like that. It gives us a dependable and predictable logic to live by, so long as we don't stray too far into the advanced stuff-- all Hell breaks loose after Algebra II. And, the cool thing about numbers is that they retain their value even after we've done the Relativity Tango all over them.

Unfortunately, our expectations associated with age do not vary as much as our perceptions of how far $10 should stretch. We all pretty much agree that a 3-year-old should not be trusted to pour their own milk from a new gallon unless we're in the market for a funny YouTube video. But, what about the recent college graduates who are ready to take on the world with maturity, integrity, and a serious work-ethic and are being treated like children instead?

My reward for having enough sense not to Occupy anything...

Don't get me wrong-- I have a whole conga line of blog posts coming up on how we, as young adults, are continuously selling ourselves short. But, my most recent experience has transformed my passive cognitive dissonance over acting 30 and looking 16 (in spite of being 22) into an indignation that I just can't let go.

For the sake of brevity and prudence, I have to skip the details but I will say this-- saying "You're so young" in a work environment IS NEVER OKAY.


Of course, it was said to me with intended kindness, as a sort of consolation. It was meant as, "It's okay, you're so young." But, here's why it makes me steaming mad:

1. In a work environment, that is irrelevant. I was hired for my perceived qualifications and competence. If I perform in a way that meets those expectations 99% of the time, then I'm obviously winning the war against my crippling disability of youth. If I make a mistake that any new employee could make, even if it were a 60-year-old ex-housewife who had similar job-related inexperience and took up the position as her first outside-the-home job, then inexperience, not age, is not the issue.

2. Everyone has the right to have their shortcomings pointed out for what they are-- shortcomings. What if the workplace mistake is not something that is unique to new employees? What if it's a reoccurring issue that isn't resolved with a one-time oopsy? My shortcomings were labeled as a problem of my youth. I was told, in consolation, "You're so young." No. It's not because I'm young. It's because I'm disorganized or because I communicate poorly or because eating the printer paper is just not acceptable office behavior. Whatever it is, I have the right to be told that some relevant characteristic of my behavior is the problem. Any older employee would be given that same courtesy. Which leads me to the final, most infuriating point...

3. I can't do anything about my age. All I can do is wait. But, I deserve to be treated with respect now. Saying, "You're so young" as a consolation, an excuse, or a write-off is like saying, "It's okay, some people are just born stupid." I can't go home and age significantly enough to satisfy someone who has decided that my age is the final issue. If I'm doing something wrong that can be changed, tell me what it is.

ABSOLUTE VERBAL LETHARGY

I feel better now. As an after-the-fact disclaimer, I must say that there are definitely occasions in which age is a real limitation. And I do genuinely believe that inexperience is a legitimate reason not to hire someone, especially given the number of seasoned professionals who are pounding the pavement right now because of the state of our economy. But, I've nearly expended my store of rational thoughts! Time to wrap this up!

Trust the young people... we make mistakes. But, the last time I checked, so does everyone else. It may take some of us a few more years before we come around to the idea of college being over but, for others, it's time to go join the big We're All Just Winging It party. We are as competent, intelligent, mature, ethical, and responsible as you will allow us to be. Don't put us in the age cage.

That's all I've got! AGE RAGE: COMPLETE.